I start my book with, “You are fake until you realize you are. Only then can you become fabulous.”
As offensive as it sounds, it has nothing to do with calling you bad names.
In the spiritual world, fake means not real, illusion. The fake self is the illusory self, the unreal self you have created throughout the years to protect yourself from harm. On a biological level, it happened around seven years old, when your frontal lobes kicked in and you realized a personal me. A me that differs from her parents. You understood that these are my toys, my clothes, and my room. In that moment, you gave duality form, and as you grew older, your split identity became stronger.
There is “you” and there is “not you.”
The real shock to our system is that most people believe that who they are is the real them. Only to find out that when they look in the mirror, it was the unconscious pulling the strings this whole time. You are under the spell of your unconscious mind and only when you become self-aware, aware of your unconscious mind, can you make her conscious again. That is what I am trying to say in this drawing. If you do not wake up, you will remain stuck in the same old patterns and your life will feel like a déjà vu.
Haven’t I been here before?
Where have I seen this situation before?
You see, the glitch in the matrix, but don’t understand how or why?
There has to come a point in your life where you have to be honest and look in the mirror and ask yourself; “Who am I?”
The longer you avoid this question, the longer the unconscious mind has power over you. She can keep you asleep forever. This first step is the most important one, noticing your thoughts, knowing there is a self.
Who is controlling you behind the curtains?
The puppeteer is acting out a play, and I am the puppet. That’s why I start with that sentence in my book. I know, it throws you straight into the deep. It’s sink or swim because if you are not willing to learn who the unconscious is, what her purpose is and how she functions. You can do all the meditations and positive affirmations forever and remain asleep.
Why is she here?
Why did you ask for her help?
Because you did, at some point in your life, you asked her to take over because life became too hard. Spirituality is no real help in this department. They teach you that the ego is the bad guy; we need to get rid, kill or surrender it. But whatever we keep hidden from ourselves and don’t dare to admit, will remain in the shadows and still grow in size. We will stagnate, always circling in the same vibration, never leveling up, never reaching a state of peace in your life because what you have always seems to break down and you are always busy rebuilding or restoring. Never time to rise. It means you will hide in the mirror forever.
Just because you hide certain aspects of yourself doesn’t mean you got rid of them. You are complete in the eyes of Source and created perfect as is even if you think you have fake attributes. If you tell yourself that any one part of you isn’t worthy to be here, you will have anchored yourself to the illusion and can’t move forward.
Sort this out. You can test yourself by doing the following. What I am about to suggest is very hard to do, but ever so liberating. Once you can say it out loud to yourself it’s like you can, let go of this false identity and just be honest with yourself.
Just say it out loud; “I am fake,” and observe how you feel.
Does it hurt your feelings?
Do you cringe?
Does it make you feel angry?
Keep saying it until you have no feelings about it anymore. Keep saying it until it feels normal. Keep saying it until it doesn’t hurt anymore. The problem we have in today’s world is that we can’t hear any criticism without falling apart or destroying the relationship. Nobody dares to say anything negative to you because they fear you no longer want them around. We are so cautious with our words, but then inside our mind we think the dirtiest thoughts about ourselves without giving it a second thought. Call yourself fake out loud! So you notice your thoughts and what you are dealing with.
Look in the mirror and tell me who do you see?
Is it the real you?
You might think: “No, Jean, I am not fake!”
And if you are really gutsy, you will tell me in public; “How dare you call me fake, Jean?!”
How would you know what fake is?
First, you think I mean “bad?”
No, I don’t, but you might.
Then you pull up a picture in your mind of someone who you think is really fake and then you compare yourself: “Oh no, I am not like her, so and so, she is truly fake, but not me, no I don’t behave like that. I would never be that person. I don’t have those negative traits.”
Voila, you have created the separation. You have made yourself fabulous by comparing yourself to someone who you thought was fake. And the only reason you thought that person was fake was because.......?
Because there are parts of you, you don’t consider virtuous traits. Parts of you, you wish to hide, and when you see those parts in someone else, you turn against her. You accuse her of being fake. You don’t like what you see because you have made those parts of you inside yourself, wrong.
If I don’t have permission to behave a certain way, you don’t have permission, either!
How dare you express yourself without shame or guilt while I keep my mouth shut because that is the polite thing to do, right?
Who is the fake self? Look at my drawing.
Who is she?
She is the fabulous self.
Because the fabulous self can only think she’s fabulous. She cannot afford or allow anything about her to not be fabulous? She would never. The fabulous self is your persona. The identity you have created for the world to see but hid all the ugly parts of herself. She doesn’t want the world to know there are parts of her she considers unworthy. Of course, she’s in denial, and every time she looks in the mirror, there she is, her other half, the part she tries to hide. The mirror reminds her of her unworthiness, every time. Mirrors become the enemy. No matter how much you try to hide, the world will always reflect back who you think you are. You can’t hide your vibration. The world senses your energy.
No matter how hard you try to be a good girl.
No matter how hard you try for them to accept you.
No matter how hard you try to please others.
It’s never enough.
It does not satisfy them.
They are always unhappy about something you did.
The shame and guilt you feel when others tell you that you are “fake” holds you hostage, over and over again. So, look at yourself, face yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: “Do I believe I am fake?”
Say; Yes, I am fake..... AND?!
You will take away any power someone has over you. They can’t make you do anything anymore when you no longer succumb to the pressure of being disliked. You will no longer make yourself wrong or hide in the shadows. You will stand in your truth, stand behind your words, and stand behind your tone.
Whatever it is you said, you will say it again if you have to. You will say it again in the same tone! Maybe you will add, you know, passion to your tone since when they heard it the first time they felt confused. We mistake inner alignment to be a passive doormat, accept any nonsense and just be at peace with its state because that is what spiritual people do, right? Love and be kind.
We misunderstood. It is love and be kind to yourself, first. When they say turn the other cheek; it’s because you have to make sure you heard correctly. Excuse me? Did I stutter? And switch your head from left to right, so you can clearly hear what they have to say about you..... (awkward silence….), yeah, that’s what I thought.
What is the truth? Mirror, mirror on the wall?
The truth is; You got some spice to you.
The truth is; You got some stuff you want to get off your chest.
The truth is; No, I am not down with that!
You got to practice, sis!
Yes, I am fake, now what?!
Otherwise, you will conform to the world.
Otherwise, the world will tell you to sit down and shut up.
Who do you think you are?!
Mirror, mirror, show me who I am?