Hello Fabulous One,
Today, we examine that even positive thoughts could be seen as a judgment and hold you back from becoming a self-master. Judgment is judgment, no matter how you look at it, no matter how positive we try to make something. Our universe is always split in half. One side is positive and the other side is negative, but they are the same. Water is life-giving, but if we drink too much water in one go, we could die. Water can have a positive and negative effect on our cells. It just depends on the amount we drink. There is a delicate balance between the two. Science calls it: “Homeostasis.” Not too much and not too little, but just right.
That is where we have to stay as well mentally. Exactly in the middle. As soon as we lean too much to one side, we will be off balance and can call that state: “Illusion.”
This happens to us as well when we form an opinion about something or someone. If you have noticed the world is never fully in agreement. Everybody has their own perspective, and even between you and close family members or friends. Opinions can vary greatly. It’s because everybody has their own unique point of view of the same thing. We are looking at something through our own historical lens combined with our life experiences and the meaning we have assigned to them. That is why it’s so hard to convince someone of your point of view because they simply can’t see it. They will have to come outside of their own mental box in order to understand what it is like to walk in your shoes. Most people aren’t willing to do that or they can’t do it because they don’t know how to take off their own shoes, first. If you wish to be judgment free, suspend your own ideas/thoughts on the matter and see it through the lens of the other person, but if you hold on too tight to your own ideas that becomes impossible.
Even though you might think you provided a positive solution towards a situation. It could be perceived as “negative advice” by someone else. You can never control somebody else’s mind.
You can never influence people in a way where they feel they have to go against themselves. At a certain point, you have to let go of this idea of positive and negative and stay in the middle. Open-minded. Walk the middle path, like Buddha said. You’re not positive, you’re not negative. You’re just what is.
Before we accuse others of being negative Nancie's, energy vampires or narcissists, we must first examine our own thoughts and behaviors as best as we can.
Teachings that encourage you to get rid of anyone who is negative, do not teach you critical thinking. You will classify anyone against you as negative, and that’s not always the case. We need to learn how to use discernment and be honest with ourselves before we destroy any relationship that could help you become the awakened mom.
Not all negative people will have a negative effect on your life. Some exposure to negativity can speed up your growth towards higher levels of consciousness. Your assessment of someone being a positive or negative person is a judgment. Therefore, you understand the same can happen to you. If this is your mantra, accept that someone can perceive you as negative and decide to move away from you.
Even if you feel they contribute to your life in a positive way or worse, you feel they have to support you because they play an important role in your life. They say it’s the people closest to you who can hurt you the most. It’s because you are exposed to them in ways strangers are not, and they therefore have a better idea of whether they like you. Which, of course, is not something you want to hear. You don’t want to think that the people closest to you might dislike you, but if you wish to become a master that is exactly what you have to be ok with. Be ok with being the bad guy and still stay in alignment with your Self.
What is a hard pill to swallow is that the more authentic you become, the easier it is for people to move away from you because you give them all the reasons, too. It allows people to evaluate the relationship and decide for themselves if they wish to continue it. As well, your bravery by expressing your truth, allows them to be brave, and speak their truth. They never liked you and they can finally say that out loud.
If not careful, you will have a negative reaction to their behavior because in your mind you felt you were being honest or coming from a place of authenticity, and you expected them to appreciate your newfound wisdom. Instead of appreciating your honesty, they will move away from you.
Judge them not.
They have every right to do this. And if you wish to become a master, allow them to find their own equilibrium. You have just dosed them with a very high vibrational shot of energy and they are now processing this energy and making it their own.
Your job now is to process whatever negative feelings come up for you. Questions like:
Aren’t I a good person?
Aren’t I worth being around?
Aren’t I worth the investment?
Aren’t I worth the time and energy?
We see ourselves as the good guys, and we see them as the bad guys, but we hardly ever realize that maybe nobody is good or bad. It’s impersonal. It’s all vibration, and you either are or aren’t in alignment with each other, but we don’t have to judge it for positive or negative. We just have to accept what is.
It’s about full acceptance, not half acceptance. We can’t say I accept myself for who I am, but I don’t accept them for who they are. If I have an opinion about others, I have to accept they have an opinion about me and deal with whatever consequences.
If I believe there are people in my circle who are energy vampires, I have to live with the fact that there might be others who believe I am the energy vampire. They won’t say it to my face. They might gossip behind my back. Can I accept the role of the bad guy?
Can I be honest and admit to myself, I might have mistreated people in the past? I might have behaved in a negative way towards others and done the very thing I accuse others of? And if I can forgive myself for my toxic behavior, I should find it in my heart to forgive those who have done me wrong, too. Forgive those who haven’t been the best of support in your life and forgive yourself for whatever hurt you might have caused in someone else’s life.
When we can fully let go of our pain, it will lead us towards the light. Instead of judging others from a positive or negative point of view. Just ask yourself: Do I wish well for this person? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself. Is their behavior something I can accept? Is it truly a big deal? No. Then just allow the person to be. If the answer is yes. Ask yourself: Do I have to change myself, my true nature, in order to maintain this relationship as is? If the answer is yes, ask yourself: Am I willing to do that? If the answer is no. You know that this relationship has ended. It doesn’t mean you kick them out of your life. It just means you will kick them out energetically. You will cut the energetic cord and have no more emotional investment in this relationship and therefore they can no longer upset you. It’s because you have clearly defined the boundary of how far you will go. You can see where you end and they begin.
This is not about becoming cold-hearted. It’s about acknowledging that everyone has a right to their opinion and live their life as they see fit. Just because I don’t agree, doesn’t make them wrong. I refrain from judging someone through the lens of right or wrong because I could not make an honest assessment of that because everything is heavily influenced by my own life experience. I can only check in with myself how I feel. If something doesn’t feel right anymore, I owe it to myself to investigate why. Once I conclude something or someone is not serving me, I simply move away without making a fuss. I no longer invest in drama or high confrontation where I want to convince someone of my point of view. I am old enough to know that is futile. All I can do is wish them the best, and move on. If someone wishes to punish me for my authentic expression, I will allow them to do so. They have the right to “react” in whatever way they want. I do not control their emotions. I control my own.
Once you set yourself free from duality is when you do the things or say the things that are in alignment with who you are because you no longer need them to validate your way of seeing things. You accept each other’s differences and can still live happily ever after. Your worth doesn’t depend on whether they can see it. See yourself. It’s no longer about being right, it’s only about being in alignment with your Higher Self.